Growing Older In Words

Time and I have seen the best of life and when the world is crashing down. 24th Birthday passed recently and I have not come to grips on what is next in my life. I have a job, I'm still working on my education, but they're so many things missing that I can not quite explain my feelings towards them.

I differentiate myself from those around me by always thinking of the what-ifs in life and preparing for a future while my short term goals are filled with procrastination and gloom. I can no longer see the excitement in experimenting with binge drinking and pill popping to get a thrill of the college years. Maturation was brought on so quickly with strict foreign parents and dealing with enormous stress when I felt alone in this world. I still do have these feelings as thoughts of childhood creep back into one's memory line. Finding happiness can not be solved by monetary gains or brief laughter with mindless entertainment.

Beginning with trying to understand the subconscious and communication with conscious decisions will be my greatest personal task for the next year. When you begin to understand your actions and who you are, changes can develop as flaws are stricken. Perfection will never be the end goal, but being close to it is worth a shot.

Exploration widens the mind's curiosity. The four walls restricts what the world has in store for you.