Seems like new posts are a rarity when it comes to me giving you my inner most personal thoughts on my views on an array of topics. Didn't see this as the most appropriate outlet for me to say what's on my mind, but when I have over 10,000 views and 300 just these past few weeks, I wonder if I'm getting punked or if I should give an update more frequently.

I attempted uploading pictures from my latest trip onto my blog last time around in July. The speeds in Croatia weren't the best for uploading tons of pictures and I just felt like I was boasting then sharing.

I haven't shared a lot of things since I've been seeking to know who I am and where I am going. Seems like I can't make up my mind to stay in America or just leave for Europe. But is that just a cop out on all the things I still have yet to do here. Not to say that I can't just book a flight and travel when I want to (or can afford to), but would moving really solve anything. I think I'll know the answer in due time.

The other small thing in my life the last few months was discovering my sexual orientation. After years of being straight, bi, curious, discreet, jock, athletic, top, bottom (learning new terms everyday still), I decided to share with my family and closest friends that I was gay. It didn't seem like a big deal to come out since I've pretty much known for quite sometime. The fear was how I'd be treated even though nothing had changed about me the person. Hiding from the obvious fact that has been lingering for a few years just wasn't what I was about. Being truthful to myself involves also being true to the people around me. It's easy for me to shun people out, not stand up for small battles, or simply just ignore everything and go into hiding. By coming out, it allowed me to do more self exploring. Asking myself questions that I once would shy away from. I don't expect to answer all the  questions of life so easily, but the conversation has at least begun and really the only thing I can do is move on with life and explore it for what it is. I can not be afraid of who I am and stand out from the crowd of many. Being unique by creating, learning, and changing the world like I said when I was at a very young age.

Since life isn't easy, I won't take take the easy road. Going back to pursuing my education on a more full time basis, continuing my iOS projects, and being an entrepreneur are only going to shape me to better position myself. I've managed to meet people from all over the world and see the world that they live in. Feeling that I must follow a certain route to success and appease a certain few that want me to strive for a circle of crowded dreamers will have to be left to those who seek to think small. I've always gone my own way and will continue to do so. Fear might have shielded me from full potential, but I won't let it consume me.

No comments:

Post a Comment