Under Pressure

It's been about 9 months since I left the Midwest for more opportunities to advance my career. California was a choice not made lightly and always seemed ideal. The other option was New York as the city life has always interested me. When others are around you hustling and almost on the brink of collapse, it makes me just want to plan for the opposite. This has worked in most dire times. Now that I have the potential to move towards prosperity before something awry happens is met with so much thought and complexity.

I always here that life is not supposed to be easy, as that is what makes us stronger as we grow into old age. But why must it be a struggle until that day comes and what's wrong with wanting the best now. Society tries to tell us what the best is. Living in a place known for being pretty expensive, money is just a tool that you must master very well. The abundance actually doesn't mean shit.  So, now I am starting to decompose the thoughts when I was younger and being uber-wealthy with the idea of what will bring me happiness and bring my name into longevity.

These are not the ideas of my parents or even my siblings, which makes me think - is this why our family has always been in this rat race of who owns what and the perception of another without first admiring themselves first. My mother has a Masters in Economics while my father also graduated with a Bachelors (in what - I still haven't the clue...Hmm Google maybe). But both never entertained the idea of being someone special despite what you own. I learned that being wealthy and having money was always the key. But as I now look at it, they were always in financial distress. Losing our family home not too long ago, car repossession, DUI's, being faced with so much adversity - and that's when they decide to fix things by going the extra mile.

That feeling of hopelessness and trying to overcome at a time when your body and soul can't take anymore is not for me. I want to be free until my final day. I want to share that with someone who knows the meaning of life is to enjoy what you have and what you've worked for. That "enough" will come one day and it does not mean we've settled. It means we've reached a place of happiness that only we can define.


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