Pursuit of Happiness

The storm washed me up to shore a long time ago. The healing process I guess takes time for any type of injuries that people suffer emotionally and physically. It's been some years since my life took a 180 for the worse. Most things were done by my own doing and I lied to myself for a long time that I in no way contributed to some of the failures. I know from experience that money does not bring happiness, especially if you do not know how to use money. My greed led to a fast paced lifestyle of drinking and forgetting who I was. The people around me were there to help me through the incarcerations, the repossessions, and the deep depressive state that was the bottom of rollercoaster of events. The most hardest part was the absence of my own family during this temerarious time. They soon learned of the things I was doing, but in no way gave the support that you would expect from your own flesh and blood. I put that blame soley on my parents even though they seem to think it's their childrens responsibility to learn about life with no guidance and help them when they're in need. As the youngest child out of four, I always tried to be the best in all I do, but when the past couple of years took so much out of me and the stress elevated to a level where my health was in extreme risks, why should I add to that. I'm still facing the demons that haunt from the abuse that happened at such a young age. I won't disclose who my abuser was, but I never felt compassion for those who go through abuse as a child and their actions they display at an older age. It is extremely difficult to know that someone did something to you that was disgusting and damaging to someone so innocent. I reach out to anyone that has been through anything that has been hurtful emotionally because it's very hard to express how you feel when the world expects you to be happy at every turn. At least, I know the page is turning and my focus on life is getting sharper and there are goals that I aiming for to live the happiest life until time tells me otherwise.

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