The idea of wanting the things that make me look good still left a void in my life. The people around me were completely different and only associated with me based on appearance or the perception that I created from my exterior. When we start to understand who we are, we can then mold ourselves, building characteristics that we are comfortable sharing with everyone. Money is like a drug, too much of it and it causes illusions of worth. This is an escape for most people since they probably have not been able to have the finer things in life. What we do with large amounts of money can make a world of difference.
The beginning of 2010, I started with about $10,000 debt. This was from credit cards, repossessed cars, student loans, and court costs. Starting back to 2005, when I was 18, credit was being thrown at me (and the rest of the country) as the easiest way to get prize processions as long as you make these extra low payments. Falling behind in payments and throwing money into materialistic things was fun until the roller coaster came to a screaming halt. 2007 comes around and I'm jobless, didn't have my parents for a crutch, and scared on how I was going to make ends meet. Without getting into much detail, I committed crimes involving money not belonging to me. Still not comprehending the situation, instead of trying to plan out my financial future in the midst of court appearances, I simply ignored it. Incarceration made me fear the outside world, losing trust, and bottling up feelings. Til this day, i'm still haunted by money. It's true - mo' money mo' problems. Now, the light at the end of tunnel is getting brighter and over $5,000 paid off from the debt I created.
People reading this are probably wondering why I would let this information out. Whatever has happened in my life could help someone out in the same situation. It's very easy to feel discouraged and look for a way out. Either it be bankruptcy or in the worse case suicide. Either of these means are unnecessary since they are only short term solutions with long term consequences. I've thought that keeping myself locked in a room and sulking would magically change my situation. Our actions can determine the course of where our lives are headed. Thinking things through can make the world a better place for everyone.
So many of us are feeling the pinch from the recession. Even if we think we had no contribution to it, we must all share the responsibility of being a careless society. There will always be materialistic things, but basing our lives first off of necessities for our well-being can change spending habits which in relation can change the way we feel about ourselves.
Change is inevitable, but how we adapt to change will determine all things moving forward.