Dizzy Up The Girl

"Everybody Hurts"

I think R.E.M. said it quite perfectly, but is hurting most of the time supposed happen.

I've spent the last couple of weeks going through a trend that happens each year when the pressure, the stress and the depression hits my every core. Failure to move out of bed to get the day started, missing classes while grades plummet,  and going to work a bitter. Speaking to someone about my thought process just makes me want to end it all. Makes it even worse. I find no pleasure or euphoric release in speaking about my life. I've tried the therapy sessions, the crying outbursts, binge drinking, smoking until I'm higher than Bob Marley, and I'm still here smiling on the outside and hurting inside.

I'm a mid-20's college kid making good money and doing things most never get a chance to do. But I'm still unhappy. The feeling of companionship would be nice. Wishing the thoughts of a tormented childhood would just go away would be awesome. Here I am wishing that Christmas didn't exists because I never received gifts as my friends did. Before Christmas is a birthday my own parents forget. I don't want the sympathy and the "I'm Sorry" from everyone.

I want to be heard, but what I say is not for the faint of heart.


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