A Deeper Understanding

As long as I can remember, I've always walked a tight rope when showing any talents. From fear of being made of to thinking that my ideas were so outlandish that who would possibly find me credible (or sane). As I grow older, I now find myself saying the same thing 8 year old self would tell educators and my parents - I want to be the greatest in the world. From wanting to be president, making IT simple for individuals, or simply lending my ear to the voiceless. With my back possibly being against the wall with corporate America doing what it does, I want to get back to being that enthusiastic kid wanting to be more than one of many.

But where do you start when you want to change the world? Dreaming is only step 1. Pen to pad still needs action. As my head swirls everyday with ideas, I'm ready. Getting rich could be fun, but not really my intention. Recently, my nephew said that he looks up to me and wants to grow up to be like me. I'm a softie, so that text brought a 6'3 240 pounder to water up. If a mind like his could one day bring a smile to his mom's face, I want to make sure I can at least set a path that he would never knew exisisted. I have failed more than once in my life, but for the sake of cementing my name in the hostory books - why not fuck up more.

I'll soon be on another trip across Europe and it reminded me that after my 18th birthday in 2005, when all my friends were going to Cabo or wherever the fuck middle-upper class white people go - I booked a trip to Amsterdam. Probably the most daring thing I'd done that year. I simply gave zero fucks and I even lied about a friend going with me. Now I think about it, my parents weren't even phased. But I think over a decade later, I'm ready to shake things up again and seek the unachievable and unbelivable.

Procrasination has always been my best trait, but focusing on one area of expertise to achieve a bigger purpose, I'm ready to try it. Here goes nothing.

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